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A lot can happen...
I haven't blogged in exactly a year. Well, at least not HERE. And a lot can happen in a year.
Like A LOT.
January 2010 marked the end of an amazing up and down year living in Australia. Moving half way around the world to be closer to someone I loved deeply.... major high. The devastation and loss from the breakup that came 6 weeks after I arrived.... complete and utter low. Having the opportunity to travel for 2 months and meet new friends along the way to recover from a broken heart.... nothing compares "high." (I mean really, how many people get to do that after a major breakup). And then, after settling in Sydney for 7 months, I had to leave a place that became my home away from home.... another total low. But that low transitioned into a quick high after a 16 hour flight home reunited with friends and family I had missed for the past year. Unfortunately, that high was short lived.
2 weeks after I arrived home, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer. Ouch. Yeah, that came out of nowhere. Not exactly the "welcome home" I was looking for. Within a few weeks of my diagnosis I started 18 weeks of chemotherapy. About a month after finishing chemo, I had a mastectomy followed by radiation therapy for 7 and a half weeks (which I'm currently undergoing).
Despite all the craziness that I've encountered these past 2 years, my faith and trust in God has been challenged. And as a result, it has grown and flourished. Jesus has been my rock through all of this. People, believers and non-believers, have noticed. And that, my friends, is what it's all about.
Like A LOT.
January 2010 marked the end of an amazing up and down year living in Australia. Moving half way around the world to be closer to someone I loved deeply.... major high. The devastation and loss from the breakup that came 6 weeks after I arrived.... complete and utter low. Having the opportunity to travel for 2 months and meet new friends along the way to recover from a broken heart.... nothing compares "high." (I mean really, how many people get to do that after a major breakup). And then, after settling in Sydney for 7 months, I had to leave a place that became my home away from home.... another total low. But that low transitioned into a quick high after a 16 hour flight home reunited with friends and family I had missed for the past year. Unfortunately, that high was short lived.
2 weeks after I arrived home, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer. Ouch. Yeah, that came out of nowhere. Not exactly the "welcome home" I was looking for. Within a few weeks of my diagnosis I started 18 weeks of chemotherapy. About a month after finishing chemo, I had a mastectomy followed by radiation therapy for 7 and a half weeks (which I'm currently undergoing).
Despite all the craziness that I've encountered these past 2 years, my faith and trust in God has been challenged. And as a result, it has grown and flourished. Jesus has been my rock through all of this. People, believers and non-believers, have noticed. And that, my friends, is what it's all about.
Sydney sees RED
Yes. This seriously happened.
Wednesday, September 23rd, Sydney was blanketed with a thick dust storm that pushed air pollution levels 1500 times their normal levels and covered half of NSW. It started hundreds of kilometers inland when dry top soil was scooped from the earth and pushed by huge gusts of wind to the east.
I can't even begin to explain what it was like waking up at 5:30am to an orange glow coming through the windows. It was like waking up on Mars. Almost felt like it was the end of the world. I've never experienced anything like it... and probably won't ever again. But it's pretty cool to say that I did.
Wednesday, September 23rd, Sydney was blanketed with a thick dust storm that pushed air pollution levels 1500 times their normal levels and covered half of NSW. It started hundreds of kilometers inland when dry top soil was scooped from the earth and pushed by huge gusts of wind to the east.
I can't even begin to explain what it was like waking up at 5:30am to an orange glow coming through the windows. It was like waking up on Mars. Almost felt like it was the end of the world. I've never experienced anything like it... and probably won't ever again. But it's pretty cool to say that I did.
home{heart}sick
"Everyday there's a [girl] in the mirror asking me what are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives growing increasingly unclear."{Homesick}Kings of Convenience
I'm exactly where God wants me to be.
BUT. This understanding doesn't take away the heaviness in my heart from missing my people back home and the huge milestones that are taking place while I'm absent from their lives. It hurts knowing that their lives are moving along without me there, but I remind myself something bigger is at work here and there's a purpose to all this. It excites me to know that I'm a different person than the one who moved halfway around the world 7 months ago. Even though I don't have a clue what's next for me, there's a bit of adventure in the unknown. I'll continue to figure out and grow into the woman God has created me to be and love knowing that He takes care of me and loves me every step of the way.
"Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am? Do I fit in?
I may not win but I can't be thrown
Out here on my own."{Out Here On My Own}Sarah Blasko
It's the little things...
Route 387. Back of a crowded bus. People watching never gets old.
A well-dressed man stands in the aisle with 2 bags of groceries in his left hand while he uses his right hand to brace himself on the pole next to him. His girlfriend sits in the seat below holding shopping bags on her lap. As the bus momentarily stops, he reaches down with his right hand, fingers slightly curved, and lightly caresses her dark hair. She casually glances up to see the devotion in his eyes with complete contentment in his face.
Such a small, simple gesture. No one else on the bus may have noticed. But I did. And just like that... it took me back. And my eyes welled up with tears.
A well-dressed man stands in the aisle with 2 bags of groceries in his left hand while he uses his right hand to brace himself on the pole next to him. His girlfriend sits in the seat below holding shopping bags on her lap. As the bus momentarily stops, he reaches down with his right hand, fingers slightly curved, and lightly caresses her dark hair. She casually glances up to see the devotion in his eyes with complete contentment in his face.
Such a small, simple gesture. No one else on the bus may have noticed. But I did. And just like that... it took me back. And my eyes welled up with tears.
One year ago...
It was today, on this very day, my life changed... one year ago.
{week 1} California Girl receives email from Aussie Boy.
{week 13} Aussie Boy visits California Girl... love blossoms.
{week 22} California Girl moves halfway around world for Aussie Boy.
{week 28} Aussie Boy breaks California Girl's heart... into a million pieces.
{week 28 1/2} California Girl slowly picks up pieces -- devasted, lost, and alone.
{week 32} California Girl packs up for New Zealand to travel with SD Girl.
{week 36} California Girl and SD Girl explore NSW and QLD.
{week 42} California Girl makes Sydney her home [away from home].
{week 1} California Girl receives email from Aussie Boy.
{week 13} Aussie Boy visits California Girl... love blossoms.
{week 22} California Girl moves halfway around world for Aussie Boy.
{week 28} Aussie Boy breaks California Girl's heart... into a million pieces.
{week 28 1/2} California Girl slowly picks up pieces -- devasted, lost, and alone.
{week 32} California Girl packs up for New Zealand to travel with SD Girl.
{week 42} California Girl makes Sydney her home [away from home].
Unexpected Surprises
There are two things I normally grab from the main compartment of my purse without looking: my wallet and the case for my sunglasses. It's a rare occurrence when I actually LOOK inside.
Well, the other day I happened to be 'looking.' You know the kind of looking I'm talking about. The digging, feeling around, and trying to poke your head into what some men would call the dark abyss of a woman's purse. (We seem to have everything stashed in there, don't we?)
Anyways, as my eyes are trying to focus into the dark hole and my hand is swirling amongst the contents of my bag, my hand and eyes locked on some sort of white paper. As I grab it (without pulling it out to see more visibly) I noticed it felt a little thicker than just some paper that I threw in there at some point. Then, I see the word 'Seester' written on one side and not in my handwriting. I was confused but then it clicked. The only obvious people that call me 'Seester' would be my brother, Mark and my new sister in law, Lyss. I pull it out to discover an envelope which contained a card, addressed to me... Seester.
Well, the other day I happened to be 'looking.' You know the kind of looking I'm talking about. The digging, feeling around, and trying to poke your head into what some men would call the dark abyss of a woman's purse. (We seem to have everything stashed in there, don't we?)
Anyways, as my eyes are trying to focus into the dark hole and my hand is swirling amongst the contents of my bag, my hand and eyes locked on some sort of white paper. As I grab it (without pulling it out to see more visibly) I noticed it felt a little thicker than just some paper that I threw in there at some point. Then, I see the word 'Seester' written on one side and not in my handwriting. I was confused but then it clicked. The only obvious people that call me 'Seester' would be my brother, Mark and my new sister in law, Lyss. I pull it out to discover an envelope which contained a card, addressed to me... Seester.
How long had this been in there? How was it that I never noticed it before? I texted Lyss to thank her for her the card and asked her when she hid it inside my purse. It turns out it had been in my purse for nearly two weeks!!!
As I read the words, tears welled up in my eyes and I was reminded that I am loved.
Sometimes there's a disconnect between my my head and my heart... what my brain knows and how my heart feels. I know in my head that I am loved... by LOTS of people, and especially by my beloved Creator. But there are times when that fact doesn't connect with my heart.
But right at that moment, my heart felt it.
And God knew it was what I needed right at that moment.
I am loved...
I picked up an old book to start reading today. While flipping through the pages I found a 3x5 card that had marked the spot where I had last left off. On it was something written that I needed to be reminded of. Although I don't know where I originally found this quote, here's what was written on the card:
"I have nothing to prove today - to anybody.
I am a daughter of the King, set to rule -
and there are no expectations for me today,
to be or do anything.
I don't have to be perfect -
I don't have to perform -
I don't have to say the right thing
or do the right thing to be loved.
I am loved. Period."
"I have nothing to prove today - to anybody.
I am a daughter of the King, set to rule -
and there are no expectations for me today,
to be or do anything.
I don't have to be perfect -
I don't have to perform -
I don't have to say the right thing
or do the right thing to be loved.
I am loved. Period."
